Satire Admirer Gifts

"Don't worry—he surrounds himself with good people."

"Cheater."

"You've got the microwave, sauce and 15 minutes to make a traditional English Korma."

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Yes, I strongly believe in the concept of corporate identity. Why do you ask'?

"Well, I took part in one of them clinical trials. Some folks were given some new kind of medication and some of us received a gazebo."

This is not about team building, but about cutting back on labour costs...

'You have the corner office, Felton?what more could you want?'

'You want me to make the horse's nose LONGER?'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

The End of the World

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

'No, I don't see any problems with genetically modified food.'

"Bad news, the island is in foreclosure."

Hot cross buns

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'You've got the wrong man, I tell you! ? I'm John the Methodist!'

How about going easy on the carbs

'Oh yeah! I'm a hell of a lot further beyond reproach than you are!'

"No one said we couldn't eat the snake."

"What I'm about to tell you does not leave this mustache."

Stamp collector with a magnifying glass.

'Hello, Acme Pest Control?'

An overachieving headless chicken.

Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

Pharmacy - "Is this for here or to go?"

"Get him! He's wearing a blazer with a turtleneck!"

"Medical Wine."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'I had to get rid of the dog... He was expressing independent thought!'

'It's a generic disease, so Ill give you some generic drugs.'

'First it was a two-month vacation.. then a sabbatical... NOW THIS!'

Born penniless. Then I invested on margin & things got worse!