Sarcasm And Satire Admirer Gifts

'Here comes my ex-look at me with unrequited passion..'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"A haand gel...!?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

A Gated Community.

Football heads...

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'