Satirical Humor Admirer Gifts

'Unfortunately, it's fighting an uphill battle against our first name, which is 'Apathy.''

'This new headset is great. I can eat and drink while I drive.'

"I'm afraid we do rather make people jump through hoops for disability benefits."

"This pizza party tastes a lot like layoffs."

You are here but you should be here

"I guess the German takeover was successful."

Death stocks a cigarette vending machine.

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'If you don't watch your figure, boys won't either.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

How about going easy on the carbs

Crap from the future.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Trappist Monk Discord

Dolphin friendly tuna

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Cow's straw

Czarcasm

On the brink.

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."