Satirical Comics Admirer Gifts

"You say you were robbed? Could you describe the culprit?"

'Now forget the old rules, boy! You can do it right here! Just do it, boy! C'mon, do it!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Focus Group Failures

"No offence Jon, but..."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

In Which the CEO Takes a Meeting with His Pet Senator

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

'Margaret our phone's been tapped!'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

NHS Suicide Counselling

"You don’t seem happy here."

The Jeremy Corbyn Smear-Athon

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

Phill Jupitus

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"Be careful of what you say. The CEO is listening in."

Craft gallery. Fudge Shoppe. Bike rentals. Clear-cut woods for luxury condos. The sure signs that we've arrived! Right. At our wilderness getaway! Almost a lake view. For sale.

Feet Off the Ground

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'