Satirical Comic Enthusiast Gifts

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Pied piper sheep leads businessmen off the cliff.

"Fenwick, do you see any mistletoe on my coattail?"

"I told you we should have voted for Clinton."

Tories and the NHS

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

"I think you're taking the Prime Ministers blatant lies out of context."

"Everybody's noticed a change in you, Boss... the flowers, your thoughtful acts of kindness, words of encouragement, and all those hush-hush personal phone calls... YOU RASCAL! You're under investigation again, aren't you?"

'U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!' - 'U.S. Aid! U.S. Aid! U.S. Aid!'

'Typical! Asks for a divorce rather than reaching out and grabbing a divorce by the horns!'

'Isn't it amazing that this piece of machinery can keep you alive forever...at $300 an hour!'

'That patient's got twelve personalities. Send the bill 'to whom it may concern.''

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

"By the way...there's a 'kiss my ass' casserole on the counter!"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

reincarnated worm...

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

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