Satirical Comics Lover Gifts

'The environmental impact should be minimal. In any event, we can work around it.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Dillman, but you're seven months behind on your payments for your pacemaker.'

"Agreed, there's a middle ground between stay the course and cut and run. But I'm quite certain it's not dance and flirt."

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

You're suffering from the current capital scheme in this country. Me? You and other small business people work your tail off. But the hedge fund managers make billions adding nothing to the economy

"Come in, minion. I found an old Lemont Brown article from Candorville.com, where he wrote about Dolores Park in San Francisco. For a brief and glorious time, you'd have to pay the city up to $250 to reserve a patch of grass. If anyone trespassed on your grass, security guards would roust them. It was the biggest breakthrough in the separation of the classes in ages. I'm going to make all our booths and toilets paid-reservation-only. Very bad man."

"Doctors, you can't live with em and you can't live without em!"

Vote for me...I'm not that guy!

"Wow, is this the new bomb blast express drone delivery service?"

'Yes, it was love at first sight... As soon as I saw his big, bulging wallet, I was head over heels.'

Protests in France over high petrol prices.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Crap from the future.

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Minority Report

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

The Monroe Doctrine

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.