Satirical Comic Lovers Gifts

'Snap out of it.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

U of Debt

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

Crap from the future.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"She wishes to range free!"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Minority Report

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Police film evidence

The Great Leap Forward

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."