Satirical Comic Fans Gifts

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'I knew it was going to cost me when I saw the Mahogany tongue depressor.'

Maybe we should put away our phones - she's trying to text on a cracker.

'The number you have dialled is your own, you will be billed a $25.00 moron charge.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

End the Winter Blues

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Trump Poutine

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'More government surveillance!'

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"You calm down."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

Greed.

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'