Satirical Comedy Fans Gifts

Entering Shangri-La - Pollution Alert Level: Severe, Jobless Rate:50%, Flood Danger: High, Radioactivity Level: Extreme, Road Conditions: Dangerous.

'I know you didn't actually transact any business, but we do have a $2.00 cover charge.'

You may click here for five hours of simulated waterboarding, or try your password yet again.

'My pension fund, too?'

"Actually, I'm a rogaine catholic."

Before you arrest too many spies, remember that we don't have any nuclear secrets.

"I can't fit these things, but I'm sure it doesn't matter. . ."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"That'll be five bucks."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

End the Winter Blues

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Trump Poutine

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!