Sarcasm And Satire Admirer Pillows

'Here comes my ex-look at me with unrequited passion..'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Czarcasm

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Hot cross buns

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

Shakespearean Celebrity Endorsements

A Gated Community.

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Football heads...

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'