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"Don't worry—he surrounds himself with good people."

"Cheater."

"You've got the microwave, sauce and 15 minutes to make a traditional English Korma."

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Yes, I strongly believe in the concept of corporate identity. Why do you ask'?

"Well, I took part in one of them clinical trials. Some folks were given some new kind of medication and some of us received a gazebo."

'You have the corner office, Felton?what more could you want?'

This is not about team building, but about cutting back on labour costs...

The End of the World

'You want me to make the horse's nose LONGER?'

'No, I don't see any problems with genetically modified food.'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Stamp collector with a magnifying glass.

"What I'm about to tell you does not leave this mustache."

"No one said we couldn't eat the snake."

Hot cross buns

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

"Bad news, the island is in foreclosure."

'Hello, Acme Pest Control?'

'Oh yeah! I'm a hell of a lot further beyond reproach than you are!'

How about going easy on the carbs

'You've got the wrong man, I tell you! ? I'm John the Methodist!'

'I had to get rid of the dog... He was expressing independent thought!'

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

'Why do they have to be ivory knitting needles?'

"Medical Wine."

'First it was a two-month vacation.. then a sabbatical... NOW THIS!'

"Get him! He's wearing a blazer with a turtleneck!"

'It's a generic disease, so Ill give you some generic drugs.'

An overachieving headless chicken.

"It's about time."

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

'We need workers who can bend in many different positions.'