Satirical Observers Gifts

'I got stuck in the gorging stage of anorexia.'

War of the Supermarkets

"Dole—who needs him? Kemp—forget it! Bush—are you kidding? Dukakis—gimme a break! Babbitt—who? Biden—no way! Haig—don't make me laugh!"

Political Partridge in a pear tree spoof.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

TV and man

"Die alone"

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

Bad business inc.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'I revel in your success whenever it leads to my success.'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

Terrorist Save.

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'