Satirical Observers Gifts

'I got stuck in the gorging stage of anorexia.'

War of the Supermarkets

"Dole—who needs him? Kemp—forget it! Bush—are you kidding? Dukakis—gimme a break! Babbitt—who? Biden—no way! Haig—don't make me laugh!"

Political Partridge in a pear tree spoof.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

"Die alone"

TV and man

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

Bad business inc.

'I revel in your success whenever it leads to my success.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

Plastidad

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.