Ironical Observers Gifts

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

AI Summit

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

"Die alone"

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

Bizarre sights.

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

TV and man

'I wouldn't worry about going before your time. You're too old to die young.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

"Don't touch that Jake! It's bad for you!"

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"Remember when 'The sky's the limit' was something we wanted to hear?"