Ironic Observers Gifts

Independence Day 2012

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"Mr Henshaw, how does it feel to be the only person in the country not to have had their fifteen minutes of fame?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

AI Summit

"No, no, your job's not going out of the country to some foreign bastard. We're just firing you."

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"Die alone"

'I wouldn't worry about going before your time. You're too old to die young.'

TV and man

A well-dressed panhandler holds a sign that reads "Will argue for food".

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

Bizarre sights.

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

"I'm going to use my tax cut to trickle down on you all."

"Some other news, China declares war on Peru, ISIS blows up the pyramids and the pope resigns. Now back to more comments from David Bowie fans."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

"Don't touch that Jake! It's bad for you!"

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

"Excuse me, have you seen a large gent with a red coat and face to match."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'