Comical Breakup Observer Pillows

"Face it, it was never going to work. I think with the right side of the brain...and you think with the wrong one."

"My computer just texted me."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hey! This is news."

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

Men and Women's changing rooms

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'Don't hop around a mite disconcerted - dive, and writhe in agony!'

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

"What they hell are we looking at."

'Mismatched Mantras'

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

"Look, I'm very sorry Judy but I really feel I need a new porpoise in life."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

Kids seem to sense when Pesach is drawing near.

Go over there and say something...