Comedic Clergy Gifts

Evangelist and dog trainer extraordinaire, Ernie Gumbromowitz.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

Vicar - Virtuous Reality

Excommunicate Me.

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

"Uh-oh! Here comes trouble!"

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

Henry Manning

'Which father is the father?'

'We offer counselling for customers with gearbox issues.'

I'm afraid of heights.

With Friends Like These

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

'Joe gives 'em the bad news, and I give 'em the good news, just like 'good cop - bad cop'!'

'Miss Allen, have we scheduled a blessing of the animals?'

catholic

Jesus saves.

Christian Book Centre.

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

Kicking Out The Jams On A Friday Night With The Sisters Of Doo-Wop

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

"I gave permission for you to Skype my class, not skip it."

'Every time I stick my head above water, my life flashes before my eyes.'

Knitting.

Someone need to set Adam straight on why Eve's there. He keeps calling her "Bachelorette No. 1".

"Aw... go on! An apple a day keeps the doctor away y'know..!"

'Whose hair is that on your shoulder?'.

The Past of Pope Francis.