Christian Clergy Gifts

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

A child interrupting family prayers

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"