Christian Clergy Gifts

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Golfing Bishop.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

A child interrupting family prayers

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"