Modern Clergy Gifts

Vicar - Virtuous Reality

Monk Prompt

Drive-thru Church

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

Gates of heaven

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'Let there be cool.'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Pastoring for Dummies

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

TV and man

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Two of everything on Noah's ark.

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

Vicar carrying a games console called a 'PrayStation 3'.

Progressions.

Henry Manning

'Which father is the father?'

'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

'New Charismatic'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."