Catholic Clergy Gifts

Henry Manning

'Which father is the father?'

The Past of Pope Francis.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Night-time halo

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.