Joining Clergy Gifts

Monk Prompt

Gates of heaven

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

A child interrupting family prayers

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.