Committed Cleric Gifts

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

"Staff support"

Golfing Bishop.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

This is forever... till death do us part...

Monk Prompt

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

The Female Brain and The Other One

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Bishops Snooker

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Gates of heaven

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"Please, Lord, enough already."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

God's Law.

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

Bishop with a crozier case.

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

Excommunicate Me.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'...and another thing, Holy Father, do we call them the 'Falklands' or the 'Malvinas'?'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'