Cleric On Course Gifts

Golfing Bishop.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Staff support"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

A child interrupting family prayers

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'