Clergy Comedian Gifts

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

A child interrupting family prayers

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'