Clerical Humorist Gifts

Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...

'I've been looking everywhere for that!'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

Pope tarts.

Guru.

Kultural K9's.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'