Clerical Humor Gifts

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"You call this a constitution?"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Praying mantis.

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Shoe repair

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Excommunicate Me.

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

"First, do no ham."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."