Clerical Humor Fan Gifts

The Pet Parson

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Dogma

Dog in casino.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'More government surveillance!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'