Cliché Humor Fan Gifts

'Hello, ACME Exterminators,,, ,,,Hello'

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Dog in casino.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"That's right. An increase in your title!"

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

Boss encouraging employees to invest as company goes down hill

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

Fetch the Boomerang

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"

Bus for Giraffes.

Will hide my face with this sign for food. ?

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

'And who told you to give the Holy Shroud a good wash?'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

'I'd like to push the envelope, go the extra mile, and think outside the box to facilitate a win-win solution to the over-utilization of buzzwords.'

The Tin Man really should have asked the wizard for common sense.

JEEZ! Who the hell is drawing you?

The hero dramatically rides off into the sunset.

'Yes Sir, I am at this very minute passing on your recommendations for staff wage cuts to the appropriate department'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

The emperor penguin's new clothes.

"I've finally accepted the fact that I am full of it. . . with the help of my psychiatrist."

Baby delivery

"Ah, sweatpants."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

Cards Galore.