Cliche Enthusiast Gifts

"When 'Hey Diddle Diddle' came along, we jumped at the chance to work together."

"Quick, everyone! Thog's invented the cartoon situation!"

"Hmm...two birds, one stone...yep, this has all the telltale signs of the cliche killer, alright."

We all know we're up against a new ball game, a paradigm shift and a game changer, but luckily the cliches remain the same.

"That's not a picture of us in the paper - it's just a cartoon."

"Don't look a gift horse in the ass, either."

"I built a restaurant on the road less traveled."

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

"I don't know. It just seems lately that my life is one big cliche'.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Castaway flooded off of desert island.

How's my billing? Dial 1-800-KA-CHING

"We want supervisors who know noses and never leave a grindstone unturned."

'You can take a horse to water - but you can't make it drink.'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

'My whole life's a cliche.'

'Maybe you're a 'man on a deserted island' cliche because you want to be a man on a deserted island cliche.'

End of Desert You May Now Stand

"My sister had my homework. The dog ate them both."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

Snowyphus

"I cross the road to forget."

You complete me!

The Devil's in the detail!

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)