Cliche Challenger Gifts

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

Laugh, Live, Love, Loathe

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Tension filled the tent.

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Countervailing Clichés.

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

Lawnmower

Snowyphus

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"It'll never be ready in time."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

'And this is what Larry calls his 'man cave'.'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

"Always a bridesmaid..."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."