Clergy Humor Gifts

'You need a haircut Your Reverence.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

How's my sermon. . .

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Bishops Snooker

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The ten ammendments

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Applause

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Great escapism, Reverend!'