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"You think I'm a loose canon, Don't you."

'It's not a slip and it's supposed to be showing.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

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"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

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'Golly, is it that time already?'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"...lettuce pray."

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

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"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'With all the cars driven by little old ladies only to church on Sunday, you'd think the church would be completely full of little old ladies.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"