Church Choir Chuckler Gifts

'Well, actualy, yes... I do think I'm God's Gift to Women.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

Speaking words of wisdom, letter B

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."