Churchgoer Chuckler Gifts

"I've only got Bitcoins."

'Wait...I have a coupon.'

The Convalescent

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Man swiping money from the sunday collection and saying 'Thanks!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"It was embarrassing. While I was telling them to turn off their cell phones, my cell phone rang."

'Which mouse are we having trouble with, Pastor? The church mouse or the computer mouse?'

Miracle. Publicity stunt.

'Maybe, but I think we should hire a lawyer anyway.'

Pope giving out his Music CD as communion wafer.

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

If flies went to church

"It's for you."

Netflix and Church

The collection plate at church has a piggy bank on it.

Today's Sermon: The Fall Of Man

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

Collection Discounts

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

Well Shriven?Ring 01718310710

Is it time for church already? I tolled you so!

'With all the cars driven by little old ladies only to church on Sunday, you'd think the church would be completely full of little old ladies.'

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

'Here it is. You did attend church once when it wasn't Easter.'

Big Shoes To Fill For A New Pope.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Freshly ground pepper?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."