Church Chuckle Enthusiast Gifts

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

Church restrooms

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Eucharist

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."