Church Chuckle Enthusiast Prints

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Eucharist

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'