Church Chuckles Prints

Christian Book Centre.

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Eucharist

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Excommunicate Me.

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"...lettuce pray."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."