Faith-based Humorist Gifts

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

St. Elmo's fired.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Praying Mantis.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Regifts of the Magi

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.