Faith-based Humorist Gifts

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Pope tarts.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

St. Elmo's fired.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Praying Mantis.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Regifts of the Magi