Faith-filled Humorist Gifts

'I think Jesus had a horse. Have you ever heard of his sermon on the mount?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Pope tarts.

St. Elmo's fired.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

The Assumption of Mary

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

A woman in prayer

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.