Humorist With A Holy Twist Gifts

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

A woman in prayer

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"This is a beta test, right?"