Humorist With A Divine Twist Gifts

'And look what happened when I turn the tablet sideways - the text swivels the right way up.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

The Adventures of God

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Divine Desk Bins

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."