Humorist In Holy Robes Gifts

"Is your angel food cake non-denominational?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Night-time halo

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

Pope tarts.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Sermon Applause.

Bishops Snooker

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'