Faith Humorist Gifts

'Jesus forgave you because he had to.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Guru.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

St. Elmo's fired.

Pope tarts.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Praying Mantis.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Regifts of the Magi

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'