Comedian Of Faith Gifts

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Sermon Applause.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Applause

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"This is a beta test, right?"

Holy Guacamole.

The Pope