Lover Of Comedic Takes On Faith Gifts

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

United Church of OMG

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"'Host' and Cheese?"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Baby Bird

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"First, you have to get their attention."

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Holy water cooler moments

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

"I see that you work for one of those faith-based organizations."

'I'm from the Government - We have reports that this church discriminates against sinners!'

'Jesus forgave you because he had to.'

'Is this going to be on the test?'

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"You have to admire Percy. He never forgets his working class roots."