Lover Of Comedic Takes On Faith Pillows

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

United Church of OMG

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Baby Bird

"First, you have to get their attention."

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Holy water cooler moments

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

'Good. Now, make a generous offering without expecting anything in return.'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'Jesus forgave you because he had to.'

'I'm from the Government - We have reports that this church discriminates against sinners!'

'Is this going to be on the test?'

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"You have to admire Percy. He never forgets his working class roots."

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

"I see that you work for one of those faith-based organizations."