Humor In Faith Pillows

How's my absolution! (800)-HAIL MARY

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

United Church of OMG

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Excommunicate Me.

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Can we discuss this?"

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Vicar In Spectacles

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"Actually, Father, it's teddy who has to confess....he was nervous about coming in here alone."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Do I get double bubble Sundays?"

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

"Do I have one too?"