Humor In Faith Pillows

How's my absolution! (800)-HAIL MARY

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

United Church of OMG

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Excommunicate Me.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"Can we discuss this?"

Vicar In Spectacles

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Actually, Father, it's teddy who has to confess....he was nervous about coming in here alone."

"Do I get double bubble Sundays?"

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."