Humor In Religion Pillows

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Please take your receipt!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

United Church of OMG

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"This is a beta test, right?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Nativity - The sitcom

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'I know it's all the rage with jazz musicians and pop singers, Twiddlecock - but choristers?'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'