Faith-based Comedy Lover Pillows

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"OMG, LOL!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Please take your receipt!'

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"First, you have to get their attention."

"Are you sure the chicken soup was kosher? A guy inside said it's the last supper he'll be eating here."

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

Today's Sermon: Is There Really A Dog?

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

"The dove must be back."

I brought my lawyer to go over the small print.

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

'Do you have any oranges?'

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

"T.G.I.F!"