Religious Comedy Fan Pillows

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

Surfing Israelite

"OMG, LOL!"

'No gold, frankincense and myrrh, I'm afraid. We were held up at gunpoint by the sheep.'

"Let's try this church. They welcome all denominations!"

"Do you know what happened to my St. Pius figurine?"

"You call this a constitution?"

A surprise in heaven

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

St. Elmo's fired.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

A woman in prayer

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."