Religious Comedians Gifts

'I blame it on a typo in the scriptures, but it's always been, the Father, the Son and the Holy Goat.'

Jesus was a republican because he rode into Jerusalem on a Democrat...

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Support group for sheep.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"OMG, LOL!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Pope tarts.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

Sermon Applause.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Applause

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.